Summer the vampire slayer...

So we watched Shrek Forever After the other day, and it stressed me out.  Shrek's world changes to one in which he'd never been born.  Fiona was a warrior princess instead of his wife and the mother of his children.  She was fierce.  She was cool.  She had a fleet of ogres following her.  It stressed me out.  What if Shrek saw Fiona, the Xena edition, and thought, "Wow.  She's edgy and interesting and ... completely different from Fiona, the mommy edition."  After the movie...

Me:  That movie stressed me out.  What if Shrek thought the warrior princess version of Fiona was a lot more interesting.

Chris:  (blank look and the beginnings of panic)  I know there's a right answer to this.  I just don't know what it it.

Me:  It's "I don't think you're boring."

Chris:  (relief that he's dealing with the version of his wife that tells him the right answer instead of getting pissed)  I don't think you're boring.

Happy forever after.

Conversations...

A recent phone conversation between Jacob and his cousin, Bella.

Jacob:  Hi Bella.
Bella:  My dad is going to take us to a food store all by ourselves.
Jacob:  Do you know what I'm doing?
Bella:  We're going to the food store (restaurant).
Jacob:  I'm plussing.
Bella:  Isn't it going to be fun?
Jacob:  Do you know what ten plus ten equals?
Bella:  He's going to take us by ourselves.
Jacob:  (After some maternal prompting, begins to understand what Bella is saying.)  Wow.  That's awesome.  

Now Bryan comes to the phone and has a conversation with Ian about how they're going to the food store by themselves with his mom.   Meanwhile, Ian is having a conversation about Bryan's trucks.  I love the straightforward self-centeredness of a child.  The grown-up version is more subtle.  Many times, especially early in our marriage, Chris and I have gotten into an argument when the real problem is that he's having a conversation about "trucks" while I'm talking about "restaurants".  It still happens now but with time we've learned to clarify one another's positions before bringing out the heavy weaponry.

Love in the time of Pollyanna...

A few months ago I read Love in the Time of Cholera and was reminded why Chris and I are MFEO.*  I hated the book.  The hero is a starving artist desperately in love - so in love that he drinks his beloved's perfume and eats flowers that smell like her.  He also follows her around and writes a lot of poetry.  My deep in the soul response was ANNOYANCE and NAUSEA.  Get a job, a dog, a hobby, something.  I rediscovered what I've always known - I prefer a man who makes me laugh.**

So Saturday we watched Pollyanna with the boys.  Pollyanna plays the Glad Game where she tries to find the good in any situation, no matter how bleak.  The game originated when she ordered a doll from a charity and got crutches instead.  SPOILER ALERT.  At the end of the movie, Pollyanna falls and her legs are paralyzed.  Her aunt and friends try to pull her out of despondency by suggesting she find some reason to be glad that she's paralyzed.  The boys are tearing up - very worried, and Chris whispers to me, "I know - she can be glad she can finally use those crutches."  Ba ha ha ha ha.***

* MFEO - made for each other, Sleepless in Seattle

** Chris, when you read this, I love you, you make me laugh, but this does not release you from flowers, chocolate or haikus.

*** I really don't mean to make light of what it is to be handicapped.  I think it's okay to mock a movie that presents "The Glad Game" as a prerequisite for successful surgery to cure paralyzed legs.****

**** I still like Pollyanna even if it's dumb.