This is just to say that I'm afraid this internet glimpse of my cancer life is skewed. If it looks like I'm handling this with mostly grace and humor and just enough rage to keep me human, that's all wrong. I'm just not going to write,
"I freaked out on the kids today. Bryan wouldn't stop talking during spelling and Jacob lost his book and David kept dropping a metal yo-yo and I yelled and made everyone cry and now Rand wants me to hold him forever and David's apologizing for things that aren't his fault and Jacob's putting on more wristbands and Bryan has stuffed it all down in a way that I'm sure will come to visit us when he's a teenager and all I want to do is run away with Chris ALONE and make cancer come untrue."
every day. So you're getting the snatches of beauty and humor that play like grace notes but not melody in this terrible cancer song.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
That's exactly how I felt when I was dealing with my oldest son's illness. Everyone told me how beautifully I was handling it, but inside all I wanted to do was run away and pretend it all wasn't happening! It does get less intense the longer the situation persists, and it's easier to find the humor in it once you know the outcome will be okay.I am praying for you and your family daily.
ReplyDeleteI found your website on a homeschooling blog, and really enjoy your sense of humor!
And, in the midst of so much trouble, Chris learns without a doubt his wife's family loves him very much, and the magic of a son's hand on he piano alongside his grandfather illustrates the legacy of love will live on somehow no matter what struggles we face.
ReplyDeleteYou are lovely. I'm like that plenty of days and no cancer in my life! Your boys are so blessed to have you both as parents. Sending you a cyber-hug.
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