Unwise and unwiser...

See pencil mark to the forehead

1.  Brandishing your light saber when your light saber is a pencil you keep in the neck of your shirt.

Two right shoes of different sizes and colors

2.  (Running late for a doctor's appointment)  Telling your four year old, "I don't care which shoes you put on.  Just find some shoes you can put on by yourself."
3.  Sitting vigorously when you have a Star Wars gun wedged in your pants.
4.  Consoling a crying five year old (see #3) by letting him say "I got hurt on the butt!" as much as he wants on the way to buy a Christmas tree.*
5.  When the seven year old is annoyed by #4, announce,"I'll turn the music up louder to drown him out."
6.  Laughing at the logical consequence of #5.
7.  Announcing that you've awoken for the day by shooting your mother with a nerf crossbow** in a dark hallway at 6:30 a.m.***

*They're not allowed to say "butt".  I think he felt like he was dropping the f-bomb for free.
**Big shout out to Nana for buying nerf crossbows for the boys.
***When I typed this at 11:15, it was a lot funnier.