Saturday, September 18, 2010

We should make a movie...

John put together a timeline for our vacation last week.  I wish I had a recording of him telling the story.
Looking at our vacation, all you can do is laugh.
Tuesday – John’s stomach virus; Mark’s stomach virus; Isabella gets stung by a dozen jellyfish; Jacob is stung by jellyfish.

Wednesday – John’s stomach virus; Papa sticks his feet into oven on broil for 2 to 3 hours (horrible sunburn); Jacob is stung again for good measure and JT too; Layla sees how many marbles can fit into her mouth; Andrew spends the whole night throwing-up.

Thursday – John is now even sicker than before and joined now by Angela who is very sick;  In an attempt to make it to Medieval Times before all the children get sick we return from dinner with Summer throwing up; Nan and Bella get sick.

Friday – Nan cooks a wonderful dinner to have Jacob disrupt it by puking in the living room.  Next Aaron’s a crazy itch attack on his sunburned back – sending Angela to retrieve drugs.  Jacob is up all night throwing up.

Saturday – (get ready……..) John wakes up at 4:00 A.M. to pack scuba gear for long planned trip with JT, but 10 minutes after JT is woken up he gets sick (VERY SAD JT),  all the women go out to breakfast together until called home because Layla has swallowed a bottle of medicine, called poison control, Aaron discovers his wallet is missing when trying to take daughter to emergency room, oh yeah and his phone too, don’t worry say the police when they call – we found your wallet, Aaron/Angela/ Nan go to emergency room, police bring EMPTY wallet back to Aaron, John packs car by himself while watching kids because Karen goes to knitting store (should really hear John telling that part), finally John and family head back home at 4:00, Ian gets sick and pukes all over inside of suburban – pull over into only gas station around named “El Cheapo” to begin insane cleaning to remove puke from all over suburban – get text to let us know that Layla has cut herself with razor - drive down the road and Ian pukes again, now there are no more clothes for him – we go to Cracker Barrel and buy Ian a shirt and clean up puke – Andrew informs John that he doesn’t like his chicken, John asks Andrew if he likes his life – 5 miles later Ian pukes everywhere again – immediate pull off exit and head towards only gas station – Karen laughs and says look at the sign, you guessed it “El Cheapo” – Ian pukes again (rest station) – Ian pukes again.  Karen heroically catches the puke in a take-out container.  John hits a curb pulling into the gas station and Karen inadvertently throws the puke all over the car.  The gas station is full of hookers and taxis and the light turns off as soon as we pull in – Bella wakes up Karen to inform her she has wet her car seat on accident, followed by another Ian puke  - John rolls into his house just past 2:00 AM (22 hour day) with Ian and Bella naked and wrapped in the last two clean blankets in the car.
Sunday – David is sick on the way home; Rand falls down basement stairs and goes to hospital but CT scan is clear. Rand wakes at 1:00 and cries inconsolably for an hour. Bryan wakes at 3:30 and pukes in the hall. Summer finds it by stepping in it. Bryan wakes at 4:00 and pukes again. Summer finds it by stepping in it AGAIN. The next morning water is leaking through Chris and Summer's living room ceiling. Rand is still very cranky. Subsequent x-ray shows that his leg is broken :(. First pediatric orthopedist suggests an appointment in October. Seriously. For a nine month old with a broken leg. Should we just go ahead and schedule him for surgery?
Even with all of that, it was still a great vacation. I love seeing my family and watching my boys with them.

The cavalry has arrived, and things are looking much better at my house.


  1. Wish I could have heard John's rendition. It was quite a week in spite of everything that happened. Plus Gran nearly killed herself when the evil hammock flipped her out on the floor. I feel confident that we'll never forget our stay at the beach in 2010!

  2. P.S. Nana is the best one-person calvary in the world!!

  3. My side hurts and I have tears rolling down my face after reading this. Oh my - bless ya'lls hearts. This has to be retold by John at the next Whitten get together. Love you all...

  4. Oh, my gosh, this stressed me out just reading it. I'm so glad you and chris got some sleep this wkend!


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