By far the highlight of our day was the mutton bustin'. What, you might ask, is mutton bustin'? That is where you put a small child on the back of a terrified, bucking sheep. We went to watch the 2:30 show. My first thought was that it reminded me of the Hunger Games, but for kindergarteners. My friend, Janet, said she was at a conference in New Jersey for pediatricians where a speaker said, presumably with moral outrage, "Did you know that in the state of Texas they strap young children to the backs of bucking sheep?" Now, I think that speaker would have had a completely different perspective if she had watched the event. Seriously, it's hilarious. So, when they announced that anyone could sign up for the next show, the brothers h (and possibly their mother) were ECSTATIC. A few heartbreaking minutes later we learned that you had to be 5 or 6 and under the weight limit. David was out and Jacob missed it by four pounds, but Bryan was IN. Now, I hope that if this blog were called the sisters h, I would be above the toddler beauty pageant scene, but I'm afraid that there's a preK rodeo mom lurking just beneath the surface. Maybe it's because I've got so many cowboy relatives.
Here he is prepping for his fierce ride.
Me: Bryan about to do mutton bustin.
Dad: Which is?
Me: Strap a kid to a wild sheep and see how long he stays on. B and D too heavy. Bitterly disappointed.
Mom: Do NOT let that sweet boy get on a wild sheep!!!!!
Dad: Ditto on Nana's comment.
Me: Too late. T - 7 min
Dad: We are going to inspect him for bruises and call Child Welfare if we find any. Film it. We might need the evidence.
Mom: I can't believe he is doing this. What about his glasses????*They announced each kid's name, favorite food and future career before their ride. Mine was not one of the masses in blue jeans who wants to be a cowboy/fireman/policeman. Mine was the one in khaki shorts who wants to be a waiter** when he grows up.
And, this my friends, will certainly be played at his wedding.
He wasn't grinning afterward. It was way too serious an event for that. He may not have had John Wayne's outfit, but he had his nonchalance nailed.
We cheered for our pig in the pig race, we rode rides, the three big boys entered the tractor pull (David won), we raced remote control cars (Jacob won), we ate outrageously expensive crap, including deep fried cookie dough*** (better than it sounds). At one point, they had snowcones in one hand and fried cookie dough in the other. On the way home...
David: That was a lot of junk. I don't think we ate a single thing that was good for us.Which, I think, is an essential ingredient for a perfect kid day.
* The very sweet mutton bustin' crew carried him back and forth to his sheep since he really can't see anything without his glasses.
** As part of his self-imposed training for his future career, Bryan serves Chris yogurt for breakfast almost every morning.
*** You MUST eat some weird deep fried food at the rodeo. It's a rule.