Saturday, May 22, 2010

Carry a big stick and run when you need to...

A wild turkey chased me through the woods this morning. Seriously. I don't know if turkeys can be rabid, but that's what he seemed like - a rabid turkey gobbling a war cry. What do you do in this situation? Do I pick up a stick? The only big one I see is a little too close to the turkey. First I decided to walk on nonchalantly and ignore him. He was undetterred and getting closer. Next with the subconscious influence of Avatar (scene where the hero runs and screams at some sort of dinosaur-monster), I take a couple of aggressive stomps towards him. But this turkey is a warrior. Fierce. As I'm thinking through the damage a turkey could do to me, it occurs to me that I can run faster than a turkey, so I ran. He chased me for a little while. The turkey, I am sure, left feeling like a mighty warrior. Defender of Red Rock Regional Park. Avenger of Thanksgiving. I left the field of battle considerably unnerved. I picked up a big stick, and flinched every time I heard a squirrel scurrying up a tree.

At the end of my walk, I looked down at my shirt. It says, "Undefeated."

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