Love is...

There are lots of things about marriage that must be learned but can't be taught.  One that comes to mind is - marriage is hard.  A few weeks before my wedding I remember telling my uncle - "I believe you - it's just that I don't see how it's going to be hard.  We're so in love."  Fourteen years later, the how is truly clear.

Another one of those truths learned only by experience is families are different.  Remember those first few months - from how to fold the towels to whether the bed should be made every day, there's a lot of family culture difference to work out.  I think the minor things reveal themselves early on, but the bigger stuff can take years to work out - whether sarcasm is funny or just hurtful, exactly what one is saying by leaving clothes on the floor, ...

One of those big things for us is how you show love.  My family is a hugging, "I love you" group.  My in-laws are do-ers.  My father-in-law has driven me back and forth across the eastern U.S., often through the night, because he doesn't want me to have to drive the kids alone.  (If my grandmother were not so Baptist, she would have petitioned the pope for his sainthood for this.)  He's built me a patio, put up crown molding, finished my basement, installed screen doors, built a bunk bed, ...

And now...

Love is building (beautiful, huge, will hold every book I could possibly want to own in my lifetime*) bookshelves for your bibliophile daughter-in-law.

* Probably
** The boys got to help here and there.  They loved it.  They think Grandaddy can build anything.